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11/6/09

why.

5:06pm.

i decided i didnt want to can anything. whats the point? pretty much every veg i would want or need, is already canned and sitting on a shelf. so whats the point in canning anything? i did get a few more freezers filled up, there is 10 full in all. over the last couple days i have been adding to it.
its alot of work. yesterday i went to get the soloar powered generators from nashville. just driving there was a freaking job with in itself. i had to move alot of cars out of the way to get to where i was going.
i finally got them loaded and got back. took half the day. i just went ahead and took them to the refuge house.. (thats what im calling it now) they are all set up in the dining room. i moved the table into the living room where the fireplace is. its on the oppisite end. then there is a couch, and a recliner on either side of the fireplace, and the big ass tv is on the other wall across from it. there is a very large cabinit that the 42 inch plasma sits on. i cleared it out, and set up my wii, my xbox 360, my dvd player.. i already had the wii and 360. just so you know. i modded my wii to play burnt games, so i have 50, 60 games for it? i did grab the balance board from best buy tho.
i have been gathering things that may be useful to me. like a bread machine. charcoal for the grill, blankets, sheets, gain. the people that lived here have a nice washer and dryer. im not so much worried about the dryer, i can always hang my clothes if i need to.i brought all the wood needed to board up all the windows, and all the rooms off. the only thing that i will have acsess to, is the bathroom, kitchen dining and living rooms. they are pretty much all in one large area. no room is spread out. i got a blow up mattress to put in the area so i can sleep on it. its raised up high off the floor. i got a couple of egg shell mattresses for extra confy too :)
there are some things here in this place that mean alot to me. i am going to take them with me. everything that hold the most sentimental value to me. i know i will still come to the place, but i know i cannot stay here. the memories are painful. i know that it wont help lessen them in any way by moving somewhere new. but untill the last minute, when i have to i want to stay here and sleep in the bed i once shared with the man i love. i want to stay here, and cry in the room that my son never cleaned.
i cant think about that. i am trying to be strong.