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11/1/09

alone.

a couple hours ago i finished getting the windows boarded up. all the lights are out, save for the light of the laptop. im in my room, no noise is coming from anywhere, and no light at all is on. i went to lowes and got the plyboard and 8 2x4's. i boarded up my 3 windows, and i nailed up a piece of the 2x4 so that i can twist it back and forth to cover the door. two of them actually. it makes me feel a little better. i moved the recliner over in front of it, against it. i tried to hurry to get everything done before dark. i drove over to wallmart too, and got some candles, and some blankets, and i covered up the windows with the blankets, to stop any light from illuminating them. tomarrow, i am going to have to do something about food. and transport. all the cars just stopped in the roads is not allowing me to get to where i need to go. i actually had to push some out of the way to get into the stores. there is a dealer at the other end of town that sells atv's. i think that would be easier to get around.
it would be even better to find one with a trailor hitch on it, so i hook up a wagon or something. that would be easier to haul around whatever i need. if i dont find one, i will take someones truck.my pills are working. the zanex i mean. i stopped by a friends house. i wasnt surprised to find they wernt there. i did find his stash however. maybe i will dip into that tomarrow, after i have everything done.
all i have now is my survival instinct. what can i do to live? even though i dont think i really want to. i can barley contain my broken heart. at least i have these zanex. and a bag of stash. i need to get to the stores. for food. meat mostly. although i cant say im exactly sure of what to do with it next. winter is coming, and i can almost be sure that the electricity is going to go down. when it does, thats the end. i dont know after that exactly how i can possibly keep anything frozen. i would like to guess that places like richs or pillsbury factories here in town have generator systems that will kick on when the town goes dark. how long exactly those last i dont know. i need to scout around tomarrow while i am out to see if i cant find some home around here that runs off of solar panels. surley somebody in this city wanted to go green.
i am thinking that i need to get as much meat as possible from the grocery stores and take it to sears. they have appliances. deep freezers. i can plug them in, and put the meat in as many freezers as possible. who knows how long it will last, but i guess its worth a try. its funny how i never really noticed anything like dairy farms, or solar powered houses before now. now, im just looking for what i need to survive. hopefully i can find somewhere solar powerd, with gas. yeah, i think thats just wishful thinking. if i have a choice, gas will definatly be better. than i will be able to keep warm, and cook. the thought of moving into someones else house is kinda messed up. but after today, i dont think i have to be worried about them coming home to find me there.
its late, my zanex is kicking my ass, im at a point right now where i really wouldnt care if i died in my sleep because of zombies or whatever. im really tired. im really lonley, and i miss my family so much.